Ruben Elzerman

Looking at the political landscape in Holland I often wonder what Hunter S. Thompson would have written about the terrible state it is in. Maybe something like this:

I used to think boring politicians like Wim Kok and Piet Hein Donner were the summon of all that is wrong with government in general. Boring, talking around issues, using fancy words to disguise not knowing answers to anything. It seemed like they were so restricted in their thinking that nothing was done at all. Having a 9 to 5 attitude like all those protocol following robots at cityhall.

Now my eyes are wide fucking open. A new bunch of filthy marketeers has taken over. Things weren’t that bad. Those boring old puppets of before made pretty lousy leaders, but at least they had some sense of good and evil. They always stayed in that grey area were everybody could find, at least some, reason. Their predecessors are branding genius perverts, looking for power in the most obvious ways. They will do anything for a vote. You want me to be a racist swine? No problem. You want me to get beaten by a microphone by a juvenile newsanchor? It’s all fun in games right.

No. Fake fun to lure stupid voters is not supposed to work. But it does because of media like DWDD and P&W. Always having some kind of meta conversation about the political game. Talking about if the not shaven sideburns of candidate A will earn him votes in the motorcycle owner, Elvis impersonator demographic. And about the smart move of candidate B to prototype his voters as Henk and Ingrid. 

Nobody knows this couple, Henk and Ingrid. But I investigated the two thoroughly. I met up with Henk on Saturday at the local football snackbar. Being drunk as hell after his sons football game ordering a frikandel with Jopie sauce. Being drunk around children is highly underrated so I liked him from the start. After dinner I observed him looking at the mothers of his sons teammates with the eyes of a predator, when spilling beer on his leather jacket. A good hard working man, Henk.  Ingrid however was a blond overweight girl with Swedish ancestors. She adored Henk. 

She was proud of her man. Especially when he spoke so elegantly about the suppression of islamitic women. “It will not stand. Not in my country.”

Sure Henk had his ups and downs and his temper rose when dinner was late. And one time he beat her with a dvd cover of ‘Sex in the city’ when she accidentally erased an episode of ‘Voetbal Inside’ on the harddisc recorder. But that beast of a man would die for her (and his believe in the freedom of all islamitic women world wide).

..to be continued…  (at least I got a ‘beast’ and ‘swine’ in there)